Are you more interested or interesting?
I attended the Professional Women's Business Conference this week, and Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin were interviewed on stage. After their hilarious bantering and cajoling, they were asked to give their final piece of advice, and Jane Fonda said:
Be more interested than interesting.
This was such a profound statement. So often, we get so caught up in what we're going to say next that we do not exert the energy needed to be truly interested and present in what the other person has to share.
And it does take energy to be present.
We need to be grounded, alert, maintain eye-contact and hold space for the person sharing, but it's worth it.
Being interested drives connection.
We want to believe it's our wisdom and words that drives emotional connection, but it's really the reception felt by the one being vulnerable that forges and strengthens that bond.
During the holidays, we went to the Out of Africa Wildlife Park and the snake tamer, of all people, gave me the most life shifting perspective. He said, "We fall in love with people for how they make us feel."
We fall in love when we feel someone is interested in us and wants to know and connect to the real us.
When were you last truly interested in what someone else was saying?
When was the last time you were interested in what you had to say to yourself?
You see, this theory is true for our external relationships as much as it is true for our relationship with our self.
We fall in love when we feel accepted by another.
Are you accepting you? Are you listening to you? Are you loving on you? Begin there.
Once that person within you has felt attended to then you can move onto other loved ones. My guess is they will already feel the love emanating from you once you've forged that relationship with the most important person in your life...You.
Can't wait to see you at the Center soon!