Have you fallen victim to the "uncompliment?"

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We just got back home from another Thanksgiving family reunion. An annual trek for our entire family where over 40 of us gather, enjoy, play and connect for 4 days to give gratitude for life and our family. Here we are...

On our way out of town, one of my daughters dressed extra cute, and so I complimented her on how cute she looked that day. My other daughter looked offended and upset that I hadn't complimented her.

So, as with most things, I used this as a learning lesson.

I told the offended, "Just because I complimented your sibling, it did not take away from your cuteness or your worthiness. Everyone is worthy of a compliment and just because someone doesn't compliment you or keep the compliments "even," it doesn't take away from your worth or who you are as a person. It is always important for you to stand in your own worthiness and wholeness."

Then, my other daughter chimed in and said, "Yeah, it's not an uncompliment because she didn't compliment you."

The uncompliment...brilliance from the young babes.

What a perfect word to describe this circumstance we all find ourselves in from time to time. Sometimes we are complimented and sometimes we are not. But what, if anything, shifts inside you if you aren't the one being complimented? Does it take away from who you are?

As Penache Desai says," Lack is whack!" That goes for everything...including people's compliments. Your self-worth is not wrapped up in what others think or say... or don't say.

Know in your own heart you are perfect and amazing. The next time you feel that you deserve a compliment, look in the mirror and compliment yourself. Don't wait for someone to compliment you. Give yourself that secret nod of worthiness, love and perfection while looking in the mirror and the very next time someone uncompliments you.

Much love,


Erin Garay