If it isn't serving you, it's probably not serving them either.
I met with a client this week who was struggling with cutting ties to people in her life. Work relationships, friendships. You name it. The same struggles that most of us find ourselves in from time to time when we reach that season of purging. We must prune that which does not bear fruit in our life in order to bring in more bountiful fruit. Even if that grapevine is bearing fruit, it still needs to be pruned in order for the fruit to be even more bountiful and sweet. In fact, there is a grapevine outside my office window that I use as a visual for my clients on the importance of trusting God's plan when relationships feel pruned without our doing or when clients need to find the courage to prune a relationship when they know it's time. Without a doubt, both sides of the pruning is hard.
But in this particular case, she needed to do the pruning and felt guilty and stuck even though the idea of these people no longer being in her life made her feel light and full of life. Then, I reminded her,
"If it doesn't serve you, it's probably not serving them either."
Whether we are the pruner of the relationship or the branches pruned, new life begins after the cut. Both people find new relationships that often are a better match than the original relationship. It can feel painful at first but if we keep in mind that the relationship was probably not serving either one of you, we can move forward knowing that new relationships, and more bountiful relationships, are headed our way. We can let go of the fear and bring in the courage necessary to move forward, and to allow this other person in our life, to move forward, too. Prune where necessary and trust in the bounty that is coming your way. Because if you feel it...I assure you they feel it on some level too.