Dad, you are perfect just as you are...
The other day I realized, I don’t just see clients at my center, I see families.
I see my clients’ children, their sisters, their moms, their husbands, their brothers, their girlfriends, their ex’s, and I do not take this invitation into their family bond lightly.
Family is sacred and to be invited in to help heal the energy that links them all is an honor.
What I find most fascinating is the link to the father through them all and, since today is Fathers Day, I thought there was no better time to write about it.
What I have found to be undeniably true is this... daughters and sons of all ages all want to be seen and heard by their Dad and the father figures in their lives. They want to feel like they matter to him.
What does "mattering" even mean?
Mattering embodies the feeling that there's a part of you nestled into their heart. On a subconscious level, you experience acceptance and belonging, the innate desire of every human being. You not only feel this acceptance and belonging with just anyone, you experience it with someone who has the biological desire to protect you and defend you.
And that is what I see in my Dads. I see these men who want to keep their loved ones safe. These men love their families so much it is palatable. But they often struggle with their own hurts, their own vulnerabilities and a constant teetering between how they can be the protector and yet still make their loved ones happy that their love may not show. They worry so much whether or not they are good enough.
Some struggle with this lack in feeling good enough so intensely that they give up on fathering completely. Some lack in feeling good enough so they become critical of their children. Some lack in feeling good enough but love anyway. Some truly feel good enough. If your Father left you feeling criticized or unloved, I offer this to you today. Open compassion's door today in your heart and investigate if perhaps, all along, he felt even more critical and unloving toward himself and didn't even know how to begin to shift that experience towards you.
And for the Dad's out there... here is my love letter to you amazing Fathers today.
You are good enough...period.
Just like each and every one of us, God designed you to be exactly who you are and placed you in your precise circumstance. Your own Father and your children have been assigned to you to elicit these experiences to help your heart grow and expand. Every circumstance that would trigger a sense of "less than" is designed to help show you just how strong you actually are in every moment. You are perfect exactly as you are.
Don't believe me? No sweat!
Our internal world defines our external world.
Dads, I invite you to take one quick moment today to get quiet and hang out with that little boy who lives in your heart, that young version of you who loved to play sports and play in the dirt even more, and remind him just how perfect he is. He is genuinely and authentically you, and he is perfect because God made him that way. Let him come out and play today with your families. Let him giggle and have fun. Let him be reminded he is perfect. All that has happened along the way, since you were that little boy, was intended to add supporting facts to your awesomeness- the triumphs and the failures. Each experience was intended to provide proof to you that you are exactly where you are meant to be and, regardless of the outcome or circumstance, you are good enough...dare I say Divinely perfect.... because you are the only version of you that can exist.
Bask in the greatness of you today!
You are perfect. Exhale and sit in that knowing, even just for one moment today, and watch what happens to your external world and how much it will shift today.
Happy Father's Day!